| You know, I realized that this year, my senior is the most filled senior year in my life. I'm donig Robotics fill year round. Vex Robotics from October to December, Scientific Olympiad from December to January(still have yet to work on it). and then First Robotics(big robot) from January to April. Signing up for AP Chemistry is something I am starting to regret, because that gives me like 2 1/2 hours of homework a night(which I never do by the way b/c my teacher never really checks it) and C's and D's on tests, and C's on report cards, Also, making an effort to get in shape and go to the gym as much as I possibly can. Also, I claimed that I would become more active in praise, but i have yet to play and I been trying since like October. I always intend to go, but I always have something to do, or something comes up. For example, I planned to go to BLD, but I usually get overloaded w/ robotics work, or school work, or I am just plain tired. I only get like 5-6 hours of sleep a night. I dont' know why I just don't go to BLD and play for praise, maybe it because sometimes I feel like they don't need me, and they have more than enough people, or that I dont 'feel like carry my guitar, or I just dont' feel like i'm part of the group sometimes(the 3rd wheel), or I have no idea, but I really haven't been myself lately and I've changed moderately. I also need a job, even though I barely have time. I mean I have plenty of money in the bank, but I want to keep that there for college in case my parents don't give me a extended credit card like they have told me they would, or pay for my lap top, or pay for my dorm and board and food(since I have a schlorship, assuming I keep it) The big problem is I dont' have time w/ robotics, school, gym, and maybe(trying to get back involved in praise). So far my parents are paying for most of my school trips, food, gives me allowance, and all that stuff, but idk. I also have to start getting back to playing my guitar. I have to start making an effort to as least making time to pick up my guitar and play again. IDK, I still know how to play, its just that I haven't played. I keep telling myself that I would soon, but i never do. I don't know what is wrong with me. I guess I just need determination and passion for the guitar to come back to me again. It just left me.
I am just not motivated as much as I was in my previous years. I read from someone's blog that passion and determination is the key to success and consistency to do something. And that is so true, without passion for something it makes something alot of harder to do. The passion I used to have for school is gone, I just dont' care. I guess its the care of senioristis that I had since sophore year. The passion for alot of things is gone.
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